What I Learned from a Very Strange Dream

I had the weirdest dream last night.  So weird that I'm up at my usual 6 am hour rearranging a few posts on my calendar so I can write this one.  

I bet your intrigued now, huh?  I'm a little concerned that I've hyped up the dream too much and you will not think it is near as interesting as I did when I awoke, but here it goes.

I dreamed that I was organizing.  

Oh yes, organizing.  

If I wasn't a hundred percent sure that I wasn't pregnant, I would assume that I'm in killer late-second-trimester-nesting mode [just want to stress here, definitely not preggers].  

I dreamed that we were living in a house different from our own and I was totally frustrated with the way things were so I started cleaning out the kitchen.  It was weird.  I was pulling out all this old bread and other foods [I think there was a tub of hummus too?] that had been sitting in the cabinets and on the shelf for months.  And then, I started finding toilet paper.  Rolls and rolls and rolls and rolls of it.  And I was mad about it in the dream.  I was thinking, "We have a Costco membership and buy toilet paper in bulk, constantly refilling before we get to the danger zone of no tp, but all that time I was wasting money because I had gobs of toilet paper stashed in a disorganized way in the kitchen cabinets!!".

I told you guys, it was a strange dream.  

And I'm sure you're wondering why in the world I'm writing a post about it and why you should care.  Honestly, I don't know why I'm writing it and I don't know why you should care.  I truly have no point to this post other than to share the zillions thoughts bouncing around my head at any given moment, apparently while I'm sleeping as well.  

So here is my interpretation of the dream.  

I'm obviously frustrated with something currently happening in my life.  I feel disorganized and out of sync.  I feel like I'm ready to make some changes.  And what does all this relate to?  

I think it relates to the fact that I am sooo ready to get back to Texas.  

This recent revelation hit me a few weeks ago like a freight train.

A little background on our transition to the Bay Area.  We moved here in the summer of 2010 for Drew's job with Dow Chemical [he's a chemical engineer].  We found out about the move after only being in our first house [in the Houston Heights district] a mere year and a half.  Bummer.  I was always ok with moving in our future, but I definitely was not ready to leave at that point.  

So, we moved.  

We left my family in Houston and took the plunge...and it was hard.  But rarely is moving easy, so we can move on from that.  When we first arrived in Oakland, we rented a small lower Victorian flat, crammed as much as we could into the space and then shoved the rest in storage and tried to settle in.  

In hindsight, we both agree that we could have embraced the culture of the Bay Area more in that time period.  We missed our Houston life and ways and we were constantly missing Temple [the name of our first house because it was located on W Temple St].  

Instead of adopting the idea that the charm of the East Bay lies beyond buying a dream house [and it does in Houston as well, but when we left we were in the throws of enjoying life as a newly married couple settling into our first quaint little bungalow of a home], we, me especially, became focused on replicating life in Houston.  

It was just the way it was and the place we were in.  Can't really fault us for that. 

Long story short, we did find a beautiful home in the Oakland Hills.  It's a pretty epic home that can never be recreated anywhere but here.  

The front of our home overlooks the bay and San Francisco skyline.  The back faces the hills and feels secluded and natural.  We have a giant redwood just outside our lower fence line and hundreds of birds in our backyard daily.  

Our home was built in 1937 and has a slight Mediterranean feel to it with a stucco front exterior and giant arched passthroughs inside.  Our bedroom opens up to our deck which connects to a lower flagstone patio with a fire pit.  

I'm not bragging here, but simply saying I do truly love and appreciate our house and all the things that make it unique to Oakland.  Not only that, but I seriously love the Bay Area.  The people, the weather, the parks and nature, the sustainable produce, the push to shop local...everything.  

But the downside...money is tighter in Cali.  

It's no secret that the cost of living is much higher here [especially compared to Texas] and after having Vivi, we've certainly felt it more.  

Out here we all it the price of sunshine.

Also, crime in Oakland is a pretty serious deal [no surprise there either].  

Even though we live in a great neighborhood with fantastic neighbors, there's no denying the fact that one of our neighbors [who have the most adorable one year old] found a loaded gun in the hedge in their front yard, randomly disposed of by a passerby.  

And finally the travel.  

We are very close to our families and make a huge effort to be at as many events and holidays as we can.  It's not easy living a life of regularly traveling across half the country with a toddler.  It's doable, and I must say Vivi is an incredibly seasoned traveler [pretty sure she's been on almost thirty take-offs and landings], but it's not the way I pictured our life being at this stage.

I'm sorry if this sounds like I am complaining about something really great or if this sounds like I am whining.  That is not my intention and I appreciate you listening more than you can ever know.  

I think what this boils down to is that I'm reconciling our current life with what I thought life would look like at this stage.  I needed to get these thoughts out into the world I guess.  Sometimes you just need to ramble.  

And go figure, all this from a random dream of old bread and toilet paper.  So bizarre.

We're not moving anytime soon.  

I don't want to give our family and friends false hope.  

As you know, there's often way more to moving than just saying, "Hey, let's go!".  Drew would have to find a position that he wanted and worked for his business and career path.  

Also, he's not ready to leave his current role.  I totally understand and support that.  Maybe we could get back to Texas sometime in 2016?  Maybe it will be longer.  

Either way, this is where my head is now.  This is why I am feeling out of sync.  This is why I feel like life is disorganized and going against my core.  

I don't know what will come of this.  Probably nothing.  Except maybe a little stress off my chest?  

Thanks for listening.  Not sure if anyone will actually make it to the end of this post.  

But if you did, tell me - have you ever been in this position before?  Where you woke up and found your life different from what your gut was saying?  What did you do from there?  I'd really like to hear more about your experiences.  Hopefully it can help me with mine.  

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for listening!

This post appeared first on Everyday Enthusiastic.  All ideas in this post are of my own opinions including any mention of companies and/or affiliate sites.  No sponsorships were involved in the creation of this post.  Photograph from Creative Market and edited by Meredith Wheeler using Photoshop CC.